Smudges
by McGeekle
Summary: Some girls, far younger than she, working on the same mission project she was somehow convince Ziva to abandon what they dubbed her 'nun-like' lifestyle for just a little while, and to come out with them in Tel Aviv. There she runs across Tony, and they have a lot to talk about. Post PPF One shot


Thump thump thump

The bass reverberated through her body, matching the beat of her heart.

Thump thump thump

The gyrating bodies all around her were feeling the beat in a very different part of them, pulsing with every new melody that poured through the speakers of the club. She stood near the bar, her companions somewhere close by, she hoped. The girls, far younger than she, were working on the same mission project she was, and had somehow convinced her to abandon what they dubbed her 'nun-like' lifestyle for just a little while, and to come out with them in Tel Aviv. She'd rolled her eyes and laughed, claiming that she was far too old to be accompanying them to a club, but after a lot of insistence _Ziva please? It'll be so much fun, yeah you never come out with us and you could use a night to get loose, not like slutty loose but like fun loose. I mean I guess you could get slutty loose if you wanted…_ She'd finally agreed. And then came the preparation. It had been quite some time since she had gotten ready for a night out with other people, but her bunk mates insisted, this was the way it had to be done. _Oh no, you can't wear that, wear this. It'll look so good on you. My boobs are always falling out of it, so I think it'll fit you just fine._ She shook her head. The top she wore left little to the imagination, and though at one point in her life she would have relished in the attention it was bringing her, she was about five minutes from ripping off the arm of the next man who dared grab her ass without her consent.

She brushed against several too-sweaty bodies as she turned around, looking for her companions, who had seemingly disappeared. She sighed, shaking her head. She knew she should have stayed behind. The silk of her top felt foreign against her skin, the shiny material quite opposite of the soft linens and cotton she'd grown accustomed to. The music was too loud and her jeans were too tight, and this world, the world she once enjoyed and relished in was merely a ghost of a memory, and this new one forcefully thrust upon her against her will. Or, not completely against her will, she did agree to this debacle. She ran a hand through her hair, tossing it gently to one side, the short ends disobeying and falling back into place anyway. She sighed. Maybe she could just slip out unnoticed. As she took a step, she was squished between three people whom she did not know, or care to know. She frowned. Doubtful.

As she attempted to slide closer to the exit of the bar, she felt a hand grace her lower back. Scowling at the person who dared touch her she whipped around to face them.

Her eyes grew wide in shock, and she let out a small gasp, breathing the name she dared not speak for far too long.

"Tony."

She should have known it was him from the moment he touched her. His hands enveloped her small waist, holding on to her as they were jostled about on the dance floor. The stubble on his jaw was familiar, but from long ago. He had lost weight since she'd seen him last. It was obvious in every feature that he'd been hitting the gym since she'd left. She could feel the strength in his arms as he gripped her. She gazed up at him, taking in every feature of the face that had occupied so many of her thoughts, her dreams. He looked taller than she remembered for some reason, as though he was towering over her. She stopped to contemplate if he was always so tall, or if the stern furrow of his brow was making her feel like she could shrink down into the floor and disappear.

He gazed down at her, frown set in his mouth, and a spark of mischief in his eyes. The heat of his body was intoxicating. She thought perhaps their time apart would tamper her body's reaction to him, but it seemed as though it were true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Her heart beat in tandem with the music, the beat picking up and up until she thought she might explode just standing there, silent in his arms. He squeezed her hips as a man bumped into him, pushing him even closer to her. Her chest was practically pressed against his, and his closeness was overwhelming. He leaned down to her, nearly yelling in her ear over the music.

"Fancy meeting you here." She cocked her head to the side, a puzzled expression on her face. He smirked. "I mean, I didn't expect to see you here."

"I could say the same for you." she shouted back.

She wasn't sure what else to say. She fumbled over herself for a moment, trying to come up with the right words, but there were none. The ease that came with their partnership had long since faded, and left were the few tight words they could muster. There were so many things to be said, and she didn't think a single one could be hashed out in the middle of a nightclub. She took his hand, lacing her fingers through his, and began to push her way through the crowd of bodies, pulling him along behind her.

As soon as they left the club, she took a breath of fresh air. The heat was barely less than in the club, but the lack of sweat and humidity in the air was a refreshing change of pace. Breaking through yet another wall of bodies, they silently walked around the side of the building, still hand in hand. He was the first to pull away, allowing himself a few feet of distance from her. Her face fell when he stepped away, and he could tell that she was saddened by the distance. And while it was taking every ounce of willpower in his body not to just grab her and crush her to him, there were things that needed to be said.

"I like the new 'do. Did you get tired of it long or something?"

She ran her hands through her hair, nervous energy radiating from her. "I just…needed a change."

"You've been going through a lot of those lately."

"What are you doing here?" She asked, never one for dilly dallying.

"Why is that always the first question you ask me?"

"It is not always the first question."

"Some incarnation of it, yeah."

"I suppose it is just always the first thing I would like to know. And you still have not answered my question." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. For someone who wanted to change, he really wasn't seeing it.

"Would you believe I'm here to talk to Orli in person about the air strikes on Gaza?"

Her eyes widened. "Vance sent you?"

"Yup. Apparently she's taken a liking to me much more quickly than her predecessor."

She nodded knowingly.

"What about you? What brings you back to Israel? Or did you ever leave?"

"No, I did. I spent some time in Iraq, Syria, Jordan, I even went to Italy and Greece for a little while." She said with a smile.

"So what brings you back?"

"Would you believe the same reason you are here?"

His eyes widened in surprise, mouth twisting into a frown.

"I have been working with refugees, Tony. I have been going from place to place working at camps and shelters, trying to help people who have been displaced, or abused as casualties of war. And it has not been an easy task. But seeing what is happening here, in my home country…it was too much to bear. I came to speak to Orli, to see if there was anything she could do to put an end to it."

"I thought you were trying to get away from the violence?"

"I was. I am," She said, looking directly into his eyes. "But there are times that you must do things you do not wish to do for the greater good."

He licked his lips, floored that this conversation had turned so quickly. He looked at her, incredulous. They were really going to do this.

"Leaving you there wasn't for the greater good, Ziva. It wasn't better for you, and it certainly wasn't better for me."

"I thought it was the right thing to do."

"Do you still think it was the right thing to do?"

"Most days. Some are harder than others," she said with a shrug.

"It's been a year, you know," he said.

"I know."

"You didn't call."

"I know."

"Why is that? Did you forget my number?"

"No,"

"Were you for some reason completely cut off from phones and the internet?"

"At times, but in general…no," she said, shame coloring her tone.

"Then what the hell, Ziva, because I thought that we parted on relatively good terms."

"We did," she confirmed.

"I thought you were going to find yourself, and at least let me know how you were doing," He said, his voice and thinly veiled anger escalating.

"I was…" She said before he cut her off.

"I didn't spend four months of my life scouring the fucking desert looking for you just so you could leave and never talk to me again."

She stared back at him in silence. The force of his words cut like a knife, and she fought the urge to step back, to give in to the shame she should be feeling. Instead she sured her jaw, clenching her teeth and bit back the retort that nearly came flying off her tongue. He stared her down, frustration in his wide eyes, tension set in his jaw. As they stood in contention, she let out a sigh, anger falling from her features. The tension left her body, and she slowly licked her lower lip, giving herself a moment to think of what to say that didn't sound completely inadequate.

"I was going to call," she started slowly. "I wanted to as soon as you left. But I was afraid that if I heard your voice I would run back to DC, to you, and I could not let myself do that. Not yet. So I did not. And then more time passed and I cannot count the number of times I almost picked up the phone, or dialed your number without pressing send, but I was not sure what to say," she pressed her fingers together, worrying her hands, just like she always did when they were in the middle of discussing their feelings. "So I put it off, and then I thought perhaps I had waited too long. That maybe you did not want to hear from me after so much time. So I did not call."

He took a step sideways, one hand on his hip, the other gesticulating "Do you realize how insane that sounds?"

"Now that you are standing here in front of me, yes."

He ran his hands through his hair as he walked towards her, grasping her biceps, "Ziva, you're my best friend. Even if you weren't ready to come home, or weren't sure what to say, you can be damn sure I'll always be happy to hear from you, no matter what or where or when."

"I assure you it sounded perfectly reasonable at the time," She said sheepishly.

He sighed, nodding slowly. He was sure that somewhere in her slightly self-deprecating mind it did.

"I missed you," she murmured.

He pulled her to his chest, hugging her tight. She buried her nose into his neck, breathing in the scent of him she'd wished lingered longer in her life. His voice was quiet but rough in her ear.

"I missed you, too. You have no idea."

He kissed her temple softly, and then her cheek. She pulled away slowly, and he kissed the corner of her mouth. He drew his head back to meet her eyes, and she smiled just as their lips met, as though they could have resisted. The aches in their chests, so wrought with longing and regret started to ebb away as they stood kissing in the street. She opened her mouth to him, he tongue stroking his. She fought the urge to moan as his hand tangled in her hair and he took control of the kiss. It had been far too long since she'd been held like this by him. She didn't want to let him go.

"Ziva! There you are!" She heard from behind her. She disconnected from Tony quickly, turning to face her long lost companions.

"Oh geez…we're sorry. We didn't mean to interrupt," Marisa said with a smirk. "We're headed back. Are you coming?"

She felt Tony's hand snake around her stomach, pulling her back to him. She looked back at him, and he met her with a lecherous smile.

"No," She said without looking away from him. "I will be back tomorrow."

"Okay," Marisa teased "Have fun." The girls turned away, headed back to their temporary home.

"She will!" Tony called after them.

"Tony!" she admonished without any conviction.

"What, do you think you're not gonna have fun?"

"No, I am sure I will, but they do not need to know that." He turned in the direction of his hotel, taking her hand along the way.

"They're gonna ask you all about it anyway. Stud like me coming in and sweeping you off your feet," he said, cocky smile on his face.

"That does not mean they will get details. And I do not recall being swept off my feet," she teased.

"All you have to do is ask, Miss David." Without any warning, he dropped her and and literally swept her off her feet, picking her up bridal style.

"Tony! Put me down!" she laughed.

"Nope. You requested it, I'm here to deliver."

"You know I could feasibly drop you in this position," she said

"I know. But you won't."

"And why is that?" she asked with a giggle

"Well for one, you're going for peace and serenity and all that, you wouldn't bring out those ninja skills on me anymore, and two, because you're enjoying it." He leaned in and kissed her quickly.

She blushed. "How far is your hotel."

"Not far."

"Okay." She clasped her hands behind his neck and settled in for the ride.

—

The next morning, Ziva woke deliciously sated to a suspiciously empty bed. She sat up, confused. She was expecting to wake up with him. To kiss him good morning, and goodbye. She felt around next to her, and the sheets were rumpled and barely warm. She couldn't hear the shower going, or anyone shuffling around the room. She sighed. He was gone. She got up from the bed, leaving everything behind. As she walked to the bathroom, she caught sight of a note on the desk in the corner.

_Ziva, _

_I know you're waking up without me. I'm really sorry about that. There were some urgent updates I had to get to at Mossad HQ and I didn't want to wake you. You look so beautiful when you're sleeping. _

She rolled her eyes. He could be so cheesy.

_Don't roll your eyes at me, it's true. It pains me to leave without kissing you one more time, but I didn't want to do the big goodbye. We've done it, and it didn't work out too well the last time. This is just easier, I think. If you woke up next to me, I don't know what I would have done. But I know I don't want to be the guy that's always trying to convince you to love me. You have to come to it on your own. I get that now. _

_Hopefully someday soon that will be a reality. Hopefully someday you'll be able to come home to me. Until that day comes, I want you to remember one thing. I love you, Ziva David. I don't know why I didn't say it before. But if we're going to be apart, I need you to know that it's true. That I'll always be wherever it is you need me to be. _

_I love you always, _

_Tony_

She put the note down and wiped away the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. The last thing she needed was to smudge his words to her. As she brushed the tears away, she saw a spot of black on her palm. She lifted it up to inspect it and laughed despite herself.

_555-0172_

_Just in Case_

His phone number. She shook her head, laughing. Partly because she couldn't believe she didn't wake up when he wrote it, and partly because she couldn't forget his phone number if she tried. But as she peered down at the half-smudged numbers on her hand, she knew that their lives would be different. She would make sure of it.


End file.
